Byron Bay to Surfers Paradise

"The thing is, if we came here ten years ago.  We'd still have been too old" Tom Rees, 5.10pm, Wednesday evening

Several times this holiday I've become uncomfortably aware of my advancing years.  'Not before long', I can hear some of you saying.  On the last night of our surf tour we were driving back to camp and we were being encouraged to take turns on the beer bong by an 18 year old surfer whose vocabulary consisted of little more than using the word 'sick' a lot whilst grabbing his johnson.

As entertaining as it was to watch our driver straining his neck round to see the action (while paying little heed to the oncoming traffic), I did wonder to myself whether it was time to put the drinking game days behind me and start acting responsibly.  As the driver starting bellowing into the microphone that it was time to play coach surfing I was counting the number of EU directives it would probably contravene back home.  I'm getting old.

Three days into my stay at Surfers Paradise I was once again forced to confront the fact that I'm not as young as I usually behave.  Tom and I were walking through town on the Wednesday when we were jumped upon by a very persuasive salesman outside the Hard Rock Café.  For reasons I still cannot fathom he persuaded us to part with $55 each on the promise of a wet and wild evening in town.

We arrived back at the pub for the start of the drinking tour at 5pm.  And our initial fears were quickly realized when we walked into a bar full of teenaged drinkers.  Some of them were still wearing braces!  This might be a turn on for some but certainly isn't what I look for in a lady.

We probably would have bolted there and then if not for the fact we had some free drinks to get through.  And as we sat and surveyed the scene Tom came out with the quote at the top of this page.

Anyone who has been on a 18-30 package tour will know the types of drinking games that went on throughout the night.  We didn't get involved in any of those but had a good laugh at the ones that did.  Instead we bumped into a couple of lads from Hull (where both Tom and I went to Uni) who were more our age group and we settled into a night of pool and booze.

It ended up being a funny old evening with plenty of drunken youngsters going crazy around us.  It also featured a 45 year old bald bloke who was the ringmaster.  He carried with him a large megaphone which he kept screaming 'CAN I GET A HELL YEAH!'  I somehow resisted the urge to throw a pool cue at him.

Surfers Paradise was quite a wake up call after our 4 days in Byron Bay.  I can't speak highly enough of Byron and I'm heading back there tomorrow for a day trip.  It has the obligatory beautiful beach, some great pubs and clubs (with the exception of Cheeky Monkeys) and is a really relaxed place to stay.

As I write I'm still nursing various bruises, scabs and cuts from the surfing trip.  So to end up there for a long weekend break was exactly what we required.  We did very little apart from relax by the pool, eat loads, drink in Paul Hogans pub (we managed not to get kicked out again) and meet up with the friends we'd made that week.

We also bumped into a guy from the camp who managed to come third in my injuries list.  He had a deep cut above his right eye.  We thought he might have come a cropper at Cheeky Monkeys.  But what he'd managed to do was jump from his top bunk at his hostel and go head first into the ceiling fan.  Ha ha ha!!!!!!!

By the time Monday came around we were really gutted to be leaving.  Not only were we leaving a part of Australia we'd come to love, we were parting company with Rand, Gigi, Joyce, Eva and Dustin.  We'd got to know these guys pretty well and it seemed strange that we were all heading off to different parts of the world.  None more so than Rand who was heading back to Afghanistan to continue fighting a war.

The journey to Surfers Paradise only takes an hour from Byron but the difference between the two places couldn't be more obvious.  Where Byron was a homely, traditional back to your roots kinda place, Surfers reminded me of Vegas.  Huge skyscrapers dominate the skyline and from our position on the beach a couple of kilometers away almost look like they built up from the sea.

In our entire time at Surfers we met about two people who actually live there.  There is no industry there and the only business comes from the tourist trade.  It's full of cheap motels, backpackers and hotels.  It's also a neon city with very little culture, class or personality.  In short it's a party town.  And that's exactly what we did there.  It was great.

On the last day there we went along to SeaWorld.  Again, I've never been to one of these places before.  But we were keen to go snorkeling.  Tom goes all the time in Manly and he wanted me to experience it.  It was fantastic.  We were snorkeling with sharks, manta rays, Hammerheads, all manner of weird and wonderful fish.  I'm definitely doing it again.

The best thing was that the large pool you could snorkel in was next to an even bigger pool with huge man-eating sharks swimming in.  It was separated by a pane of glass which you could swim up to and peer through.  It was quite an experience.  It was also the perfect way to end our last full day in Surfers.  As the next day we were heading up the coast to Brisbane.