"Four More to the Eng-er-land"

Travelling tittle-tattle, tall tales and shameless name-dropping by Jon ‘Don’t Call Me’ Norman

About Me

Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Cricket updates from my bunk bed

Amazing one-handed catch on the boundary, you say? Candidate for the most athletic piece of fielding ever? I'll have to take your word for it.

Sunday, 24 July 2016

A cabbies' tale 2

I moved to Spain seven years ago. I packed up, sold the family home in Bromley for two million quid and took off with the wife and kids. Told everyone I’d pulled off the ‘deal of the century!’

I used to joke I’d swapped Costa Coffee for the Costa del Sol.  I had money in the bank, my own pool and a beer in hand for every day of the rest of my life.

So how is it I now find myself sitting in the darkness of my car outside a South London housing block waiting for a pick up? 

I said we should spend £750k on a few two-beds to rent out but the wife didn’t want the hassle.  I didn’t put up too much of a fight.  After 23 years slogging away in the City didn’t I deserve a bit of the easy life? 

Today is day 89 of 100 that I’ve worked straight.  Kipping on my mum’s sofa at night staring at the ceiling wondering where it all went wrong

For a couple of years life was a dream.  Nothing more taxing than the doing the school run twice a day.  It was clean, it was hot and after a few months it became a little dull.  It was everything I’d hoped for.

And then I met Danny.  He was a friend-of-a-friend. 

I can’t work out who I’m angry at more.  Him or me?  What a fool I’ve been.

Danny is in prison now. 

My mistake was to be greedy and lazy.  The first thing had seen me do well in the City.  The second thing, well what can I say?  I thought Danny would make me more money than I was capable of and without me having to do anything.

I nearly invested all of it.  Way too much.  Seven figures.  And then the call came.


He was a fraud.  By the time the police got involved the money was just about gone.  Lawyers took the rest.

How did I fall for it?  Well to be fair he went that extra distance to cover it up. Even now I can’t believe the lies and the front.  He met my wife, my kids he stayed at my house.  When my parents were ill he called.  And all the time he knew he was destroying my life.

Six years.  He’ll be out next year. If I saw him now and I had a gun I’d kill him.

The kids say I’ve changed.  I can’t get over it.

Friday, 17 June 2016

Another one to scratch off the bucket list

While flares reigned down on the pitch in Saint-Etienne flames shot up into the sky in London.  Two sporting arenas in two different countries but both at capacity with spectators watching star-studded Friday night entertainment and there the comparisons end.

Week one of the Euros came to an end with the Croatian fans joining the Russian and English on the wall of shame.  Week four of the NatWest Blast emerged from underneath the covers to provide more wholesome fare.

Maybe one day I will present from a football match maybe one day I won't.  If I do so it probably won't be at Craven Cottage that's for sure. For today marked the day I presented a show from a cricket match for the first time.  At my other sporting home, The Oval.  Live on talkSPORT 2, Surrey v Middlesex with my dad watching on from the Pavilion.  The game that is.  He wasn't watching me.

Alongside me were the former Surrey opening batsman Alan Butcher and commentator Andrew 'Macca' McKenna. The last time Macca are I were in the same stadium was in Brazilia at the 2014 World Cup.  There we watched Argentina knock Belgium out the competition in a low key encounter.  While the Euros are on every cricket match has the feel of a low key encounter.

Brazil seemed very far away when I arrived with the rain pelting down and the pitch under covers.  Rain delays meant that instead of presenting for the first half an hour before handing over to my commentator I had to 'fill' an hour of radio.  How to fill an hour?  Just sit back and talk about cricket.  So that's what we did.