The clanger

Is it just me or is David Cameron turning into George 'Dubya' Bush? He's only been in power for three months and he's made more clangers than Tony Blair did in ten years. Okay, he's not yet taken us to war illegally yet, but surely that's not far off?

Since scraping to victory in May's general election Cameron has been forced to apologise or backtrack more regularly than your local railway station public address system. Last week he came under fire for saying to an American audience that England played a junior role in World War 2. That is insulting on many, many levels.

Then minutes after being held to task by a Brighton pensioner over the junior partner comment, and holding his hands up to his mistake, he went on to say Iran had a nuclear bomb, which it doesn't. At least not yet. You know you're in trouble when it’s the Aussie media calling you stupid.

Moving on and you start to notice a common theme in this loose talk for he has also told an anti-Israeli Turkish audience that Gaza was nothing more than a prison camp and then to an Indian one that Pakistan have been funding terrorism.

No doubt he was still taking in the wild applause following this last speech when one of his aides informed him that the Pakistani president was actually visiting town the following week. So lo' behold he immediately went and changed his mind and declared they are doing a sterling job of keeping a lid on those pesky Taliban.

Though it was after he went on record to describe himself as middle class that I finally had had enough. What next, black friends?

Middle class! Ha! Who is he kidding? Firstly, he went to Eton, secondly he's related to King William IV and thirdly doesn't he know that nobody, but nobody pretends to be middle class? You're either “working class and proud” or rich and don't give a fuck. Seriously, anyone who actually lies about being middle class shouldn’t be entrusted to run a bath let alone a country.

Now, you might believe some of what he is saying to be true. You might agree that Pakistan is funding the terrorists who learn their trade inside the countries border, that the treatment of Palestinians in Gaza is inhumane, that England's role in winning World War II owes much to America’s intervention in 1941 and that David Cameron does indeed come from a middle class background, okay maybe that is one step too far.

But apart from pretending he wasn't brought up in a castle with a pet dragon living under the drawbridge, what I find most insulting about him is that when he visits foreign countries he goes out of his way to tell them exactly what they want to hear. And then when he's in his own country he tells us exactly what we don’t. That we're going to have to suffer the largest cuts in public services of all time; while the bankers are allowed to carry on as before. How is that fair?

I suppose that now we've voted him in (sort of) he feels confident enough to do what he likes over here. And like a foreign Premier League footballer thinks that whatever he says in another country will be kept a nice secret between himself and his smiling audience. Oh dear.

I've seen David ‘Dubya’ Cameron (his middle name is William) in action. His aides understood the importance of increasing his media profile in the lead to the general election. As his only policy seemed to be that he wasn’t Gordon Brown it was important he was kept on the move around the country and he ended up spending more time in our studios than half of our presenters.

To watch him stand around the programming floor pretending to have an interest in football was nearly as painful as his attempts to fit in with us. He was like the teacher at school who thinks he can hang with the kids out of school just by wearing a ‘trendy’ jumper. It was so bad.

And it wasn't just the way his aim of integrating himself within the talkSPORT office was as doomed to failure as a middle class person trying to decrease the chances of being ripped off by a mechanic by dropping a 'T' here and there. No, it wasn't that, it was because he bothered in the first place.

Call me old fashioned but while I want my leaders to have the common touch I also want them to have something about them that inspires, that makes me stop what I'm doing (reading cricinfo.com usually) when they walk in the room, that sets them out as different, as having something about them so bloody impressive that I can see why they see themselves fit to lead a whole nation of people. Basically I want David Beckham to be PM.

But David Cameron doesn’t have any of this. He can’t dazzle anyone with his intellect, charisma or oratory skills. He's just another bland, posh bloke who only got into power because Labour had been so unbelievably awful and because there wasn't enough about him to divide his own party.

But with at least five years remaining of David Cameron's tenure we're already starting to see a glimpse of the future. A future where David Cameron & the UK are set to become the Prince Phillip of world politics.

All of which is pretty apt as David and Phillip are distantly related. Through marriage that is. Prince Phillip's marriage to the Queen......Middle class, my arse.