Bouncing back

Four years and one day ago I stood with the Barmy Army defiantly singing cricket chants throughout the final session of play as England lost the Ashes in Perth. We sang whilst the Aussies celebrated, through the post-match speeches and then for another hour following the close of play. The other stands were deserted, the players back in the dressing rooms, all that remained were a few seagulls scouring the ground for discarded chips and a couple of security guards wondering when we would shut up & leave so they could go home.

The Barmy Army are a more subdued force this time around. Chastened after two harrowing days of cricket. Fear has replaced confidence. Questions where there were answers. Doubt has crept into the psyche. Fans are seeking guidance and solace from all quarters. But unlike four years ago there is still hope and once this result is put to bed expectation.

Four years and one day ago I walked away from the Waca with the series over & nothing to play for. This time I'm leaving with the entire series in the balance. The feeling back then was of resignation. We'd known what was coming after day five at Adelaide. This time I feel sick with the thought I might have to watch Ricky Ponting's smug face hold the Ashes aloft. Again.

But at the same time the thoughts of a capacity crowd at the MCG, of a decider at the SCG with my family in the stands, of the inevitable twists and turns that lead cricket fans to look to the skies in exasperation or exultation is why I've made this journey. The last two days have been unpalatable and the next couple won't be much better. But as long as we win in the end I wouldn't want it any other way.