My first indulgence of the New Year

One of the things I do at this time of the year is wonder where work and pleasure may see me head to in the upcoming 12 months.  The nature of my job means I usually have the off-chance of visiting three or four destinations.  And then there's always the personal holiday or trip to see the extended family.

This year the list is India (maybe), UAE (probably), France (possibly) and New Zealand (definitely).  You can probably guess which of those are for work.  Well, I say 'you' but I don't think anyone is actually reading.

With two days of remorseless batting ahead in the cricket and no chance of a result I began listlessly browsing the Web for inspiration and I came across a page which let me enter in every country I've visited. It's pretty cool to look at a map of the world in this way and work out where you'd need to visit to make a sizeable increase in the imprint.

Going to countries like Brazil, USA and Australia really helps to make me look more worldly than my trips to Antigua or Malawi for instance.  While I'm aware that the one afternoon I spent in a market on the Chinese border isn't really deserving of earning a massive blue splodge.

Not sure 'splodge' is the correct terminology but it passes the spellcheck test.

It has made me think that my next destinations need to be new ones and big ones.  I need to fill up the map fast before family and life get in the way of my travelling.  Looking back at the possibilities for this year India would be ideal but France has already been ticked off, or filled in in this case.  Hmmmmm.

My mind flicks to the possibility of going to Russia for the World Cup in 2018 and India for the cricket as two great opportunities.  While I am also oh-so-aware that a trip to Antartica would not only mean I've visited every continent it's huge as well.

I thought of posting my map to Facebook but decided nothing screams self-indulgence more than posting a chart of all the countries they've been fortunate enough to visit.  Well apart from posting it on your own 'blog, that is.

Create Your Own Visited Countries Map

The 27 hour red eye route

**This is a blog I started writing on the way to New Zealand but life got in the way and I never got round to posting it.  So here it is.  Four months late but hopefully worth ten minutes of your time.  Eat a biscuit or two while reading it.  Drink a cup of tea.  I like tea.**

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well here I am. On the way to the other side of the world. My fourth time to the antipodeans. Flying alone. Which is how I like it and how Fe demands it. She left the UK on Sunday. The day afterwards a 6.5 earthquake hit New Zealand's North Island.  When she landed it was in 100 kph winds. I wonder what awaits me? Sunshine and blue skies I hope.

The build up to a big trip is one I usually approach with dread. For while I love planning a massive holiday nearly as much as I love being on a massive holiday when it comes to the bit when I actually have to get there I am forced to seek solace in alcohol and Valium. So I hit upon an idea. Twenty seven hours until I reach New Zealand. How about I write a little 'blog along the way? Maybe it will distract me. Maybe it will make time go faster, maybe it will be something I neglect as the drugs take hold and the sheer boredom and futility take over.  We shall see. 

Hours 1-2 (four hours to Dubai, one day to Auckland)

Well, approaching two hours into my journey I am still up for it. Have just eaten a surprisingly tasty yoghurt chicken curry concoction. Have had a couple of beers and half a tablet. Had a chat with the woman one along, we have an unused seat between us, and I'm feeling okay.

I am flying in an A380 for the first time. Apart from the fact it has two floors (the double decker bus of the air world) I don't know too much about it.  After flying to New Zealand for my wedding my bro said it was the smoothest flight he'd ever encountered. He said he didn't even realise he'd taken off which I'm not so sure I believe but so far so good. It is strange to see a stairwell right in front of me. But it's so spacious it almost feels like you're on a very smooth ferry crossing. Long may that continue.

Right. I'm going to read some print outs from Cricinfo which I have saved especially for this flight. Rock and roll.



Hours 2-6 (fourteen hours to Melbourne, 20 to Auckland)

I didn't end up reading them. I started working out some financial stuff and that was enough to send me to sleep. I thought it would be wise to take advantage of the spare seat between me and Janice who is flying even further than I am. She is going to Whangerai. Or in other words an additional three hour wait and 30 minute flight from my destination, Auckland. All of which seems pretty far off as I sit in departures in Dubai.



In the end I got a few hours intermittent sleep and now find myself bleary eyed in a far too bright airport lounge. Catching a glimpse of my face in one of the many mirrors here reminds me it has been far too long since my skin had a bit of sun colouring.

There is only 90 mins stopover and I spent 40 of them walking around the airport reminding myself of the following mantra. "Thirteen hours until I am in Australia". "I will be in New Zealand tomorrow". Both of which sound pretty good. Whether that alone will be enough to get me through the next 14 hour flight remains to be seen. I am just praying the next leg is also on a A380. I already know I don't have a spare seat next to me.

10 and a half hours to go to Melbourne

This is tough now. Cramped. Still managed to sleep on and off for an hour. Have had something to eat. Felt pretty ropey when I got on the plane and have had a couple of panic surges but my chill out message and half a diazepam have calmed me slightly. Currently a bit of turbulence is adding to the wonderful world I am currently existing. Hopefully it doesn't last too long.

First time I've ever failed to find a single film on the in flight entertainment that I want to watch. So I'm going through the first series of Friends as I wait for the time left on this flight to dip below the ten hour mark. It's all about breaking it down. So with that in mind I'm still reminding myself that when I get off this flight I will actually be in Australia. It still helps. Also that I'm almost at the half way point between England and Australia. I'm ignoring the other three hour flight I've still got to take. Turbulence starting to kick in now. Not enjoying this. But I will get through.

8 and a half hours to go to Melbourne (14 to Auckland)

A baby has been crying since we took off. About five hours and five rows in front. So it could be worse. Oh, it's just stopped.....No, it's started again. Looking forward to being over land. Now it's screaming. Actually feel sorry rather than annoyed. Sorry for the kid, its parents and anyone sitting nearer than I am. Also relieved I can block it out by watching a Steve Coogan video. Is it still called a video?

8.05 hours remaining (still pretty much 14 to Auckland)

I've just worked out that If I pay $20 I can get 100mb of internet access. I can check out the NZ v India score, read the match report from West Ham v Man City! Check out the papers and a whole host more.



Unfortunately I made the decision to put my wallet in the case that's in my overhead locker. And I'm sitting by the window and my two neighbours are fast asleep.

Denied!



And I need a wee.

In more positive news I've just checked out the time in New Zealand and technically I arrive TODAY!!!!!  It's those kind of little things that get you through.  That and my third small bottle of red wine.

Baby is still crying.

7 hours and four minutes remaining 

REALLY NEED A WEE!!!



I ended up hurdling the guy next to me. I saw the woman on his left stir and took my opportunity.

Just under four hours remaining now.

...............and I'm clinging on a bit.

However being able to access the internet helps. Tweeting and facebooking people allows me to escape this fart smelling capsule momentarily. Also allows me to take my mind off my impending hangover which is starting to creep in. Dark outside but Perth is on the horizon. Despite having a window seat I'm on the wrong side of the plane to see it though. Shame. Knowing land is close by and that I've technically reached Australia is good for the spirits. Mind starting to turn to my last flight now but no complaints. In the last eighteen hours of my life I have spent 16 in the air. Seven remain with an hour or so stop off. Stay on target! Baby still crying.

Less than two hours to Melbourne

Thank god for the internet. Been chatting to Fe and also reading the thirty-odd emails my football team have sent trying to find a player so we aren't one short tonight.

Melbourne



Auckland ahoy! 

Staring out the window at the reason why New Zealand is known as the land of the long white cloud.



In reflective mood and feeling pretty wide eyed and clear headed considering the length of journey. Remembered that while I may only have 90 minutes left of this journey I should probably make one final entry. So this is it.

Lack of sleep, too much alcohol and a handful of prescription drugs aren't exactly great bed fellows for insightful commentary. But hopefully alongside the photos I have taken it all comes together to make a worthwhile blog. We will see. But first I've got to get to NZ. Fe is waiting at the airport. Or at least she should be. I couldn't text her from Australia. I'll find out shortly.

The Night Watchman

*****CRICKET UPDATE*****Good old Ryan Sidebottom. From out of nowhere he took seven wickets and England are now somehow favourites to win the game and the series*****

One of the pros and cons of back packing with Nathan and Mark is that it cuts out the chances of rooming with the kind of freaks I encountered in Perth and Adelaide last year. And while on the one hand it’s great that I don’t have to put up with unstable Dutchmen on the other it deprives me of some highly hilarious moments.

In Hamilton we were joined in our four man dorm by Mark’s mate Jane. In Wellington I stayed in a hotel with Fe. But in Napier I’ve struck gold. I suspect I might by rooming alongside a delightfully off the wall character. A South Korean chap called Chung who shouldn’t disappoint in the quest for the weird and wonderful in the world of budget travelling.

Chung is an extremely polite young man with a wispy black beard that looks like he’s stuck his armpit hair onto his chin. He has a penchant for staying up all night and sleeping during the day. Not that he’s a party animal. Not in the slightest. He never leaves the hostel. He seems to live here 24/7 and is always caught at curious times of the night eating soup or noodles while staring out the window.

He’s also been in Napier for over a month which is about a month too long in my opinion. But he likes it here he says. And who can blame him? It seems like a nice town. Not that he ever seems to see it. In the time I’ve been here he’s spent every day inside the hostel. His sleeping pattern so awry that he has woken me up every night at 5am as he creeps into the room and into his bed.

Not that I was asleep at 5am this morning. As I’ve mentioned before Mark is a snorer. Not in the bracket of my Uni mate Jez who snores so loudly that it made my bed vibrate. I should mention that I was in a room above him at the time. Another time Jez stayed at my parent’s house and the noises he was making in his sleep were so loud and raucous that my dad thought someone was having sex in the room he was sleeping in.

Mark doesn’t come close to that. Nor does he come close to a Barmy Army member that he and Nathan shared a room with in Wellington. Nathan is normally such a relaxed laid back guy. But after three nights without sleep he was close to breaking point. I’d never seen him come close to a frown but the guy they were dorming with snored so loudly that Nathan spent one sleepless evening recording the noise he made. Finally, the Sunday of the Test, and with the offender out for the night, the two of them took full advantage by sleeping from 7pm through to morning.

So maybe I shouldn’t complain too much. Mark isn’t anywhere near that league. And usually if you can get to sleep before he starts it’s not loud enough to wake you up. That was until last night when his nasal activities reached such a crescendo that I was forced to try and sleep with one finger in my ear. Which doesn’t work I can tell you.

The good thing with Mark though is that he’s such an accommodating and conscientious bloke that he’ll do anything for you whether awake or not. It was around half past four when his snoring reached such a decibel that I started to question my own sanity and it led me to telling his lifeless body to shut up. I did so more in hope than expectancy but somehow it worked. For a few blissful minutes his sub-conscious would kick into gear and he’d stop snoring. But never long enough to allow me to fall asleep again.

It led to an exchange during the night where I told Mark to shut up, he ceased snoring immediately, then started again and I said something along the lines of ‘I said shut up not snore louder!” At which point a distressed, confused and slightly hurt voice piped up ‘I’m awake!” In the dark of the night I contemplated whether he was actually snoring whilst roused. But didn’t stay awake long enough to find out nor reply.

I felt a little guilty in the morning and after I met up with the lads on the hill in the Barmy Army section I broached the subject. And found out that while it appears I am incapable of sleeping through low level snoring I can sleep quite happily while someone bangs on the door all night.

Mark had awoken for the first of his nightly trips to the toilet at around 2am and managed to lock himself out. As we’d been out for a few drinks Nathan and I slept happily through the desperate banging at the door. Our South Korean friend was of course absent and so couldn’t let him in. So Mark went to find him but after searching the entire hostel Chung was for once not to be found. So Mark was forced to walk round to the window and break in. The fact that we still didn’t wake up is slightly worrying especially when considering Mark isn’t exactly the most catlike of individuals.

He remembered to take his key a few hours later when his bladder once again awoke him from his slumber. And on the way back from the toilet he stumbled past Chung who was still awake, sitting on a chair near our room and staring silently out the window into the street and away into the distance over the Pacific Ocean. Mark tiptoed past him made his way into our room and was waking us up with his snoring before long.

I’m going to be extremely upset if Chung doesn’t continue to enliven our stay at the YHA. I’m also going to try and get a photo of him. But he’s so damn elusive. And I don’t want him waking to find my camera lens peering at him from within the gloom. Otherwise I could find myself characterised in his ‘blog.