Melbourne

I've visited three places outside of London that as soon as I stepped off the train, plane or whatever, made me feel like I've come home. I'm sure you've all experienced this feeling. Personally, the three places where I've encountered this not unpleasant experience were in Boston (not the one in Lincolnshire), Aberystwyth and now Melbourne.







It's always hard to put your finger on just why this is. Writer good enough I'm not to be able to convey what it is about Melbourne that attracts me so much. But unlike Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth it is just about big enough to appease a city kid. It has some beautiful old buildings and unlike a lot of more recent metropolis the newer, bigger and brasher constructions don't swamp them out.

It also has a character about it that is sorely missing in Perth. It is almost European in its outlook. Loads of small bars and cafes, 24 hour opening, relaxed attitude, gorgeous to look at and like the rest of Australia, street safe, no matter the time you are staggering about.

It has a nice balance of modern infrastructure and high-rise skyline coupled with plenty of green areas to relax and chill in. You don't have to walk too far to forget you are in a city; but then it is still big and ugly enough to lose yourself in if you wanted to get lost for a day.

I stayed in Melbourne throughout the Christmas period. Although the series had been lost I was still dreaming of the Boxing Day test, which started, funnily enough, the day after Christmas Day. The stadium holds 98,000 and it's the biggest sporting day in the calendar over here. I couldn't wait. While the 25th was to be spent with lots of fellow Brits down by the Yarra River, drinking beer in the sun and playing cricket. Sounds good, eh?

Before you go on a holiday, or do something you're really looking forward to, you always spend twice as much time daydreaming about it. But then when you get to it it's usually stuff you hadn't thought about that proves to be the highlight of the day or trip. And that's pretty much how my Aussie adventure has gone so far.

Back home, whilst working 27 days a month in the lead up to leaving, I spent several hours in delicious semi-consciousness imagining England's victorious Ashes retention, how the blazing hot sun would beat down on my crispy skin on Xmas Day, listening to the 100,000 people cheering on the first ball of the Boxing Day Test. But when I return to England it won't be these memories that spring readily to mind when asked what the highlight of my tour was.

Because as great as this country is. And, believe me, it's one of the most amazing places I've ever visited (it just about pips Gillingham and Boston – the one in Lincolnshire). It relies very heavily on the weather for its appeal. And when it pisses down here it can be just as grim as anywhere.

So, while Melbourne rules, for all the reasons given above, it also suffers from the kind of weather more associated with Manchester. Basically, from the 23rd through to the 27th it absolutely tipped it down. Even by England standards it was cold, rainy, bleak and thoroughly depressing. Not at all how I pictured it to be.

So, what to do? Just get on with it. Four of the lads were attending the Barmy Army Christmas Day event and we trekked along for the midday start. I obviously left my brain back at the hostel as I turned up in flip-flops. I figured the weather would ease as the day progressed. WRONG!!!!!!





We got to the venue and spent a good hour sheltering under one of the canopies. Again I was reminded of Glastonbury '05. I was told afterwards that it was the coldest and wettest Christmas Day ever recorded in Melbourne. I'm not going to dispute this fact.

After 60 minutes of this misery, and after hearing 'Singing in the rain' for the 13th time we attempted, along with the other 2,000 sodden Brits, to get some food. And after doing this we realized there was nothing else to do. We could have stayed but where was the appeal of standing in rivers of mud, with loads of other depressed looking people, with only warm beer to keep us company?

So, we did what travelers since the dawn of time have done when faced with similar bleak conditions. We opted for high ground. And we found it in the shape of the casino. Gambling on Jesus' birthday. We had found the high ground physically if not morally.

But we were not alone in our desecration of the good lord's birthday. The place was almost bursting at the seams with thousands of Japanese and fellow touristy types.

The complex housed much more than just a blackjack table. It was huge. So this is where I spent my Christmas Day.



We quickly decided that the only way to rescue our day would be to get competitive. Nathan and I were paired against Joe and Mark in an all day battle for supremacy.

And so, the most bizarre Christmas Day I'll probably ever spend was spent playing Daytona USA.



Ten pin bowling



as well as simulated football games, air hockey, table football and this donkey riding contraption.



<tt>In the end it was Nathan and I who were victorious and as punishment Mark and Joe were forced to take each other on in a dance off.



I didn't need any presents after watching this. The looks on the faces of the Japanese spectators were priceless.

As the evening wore on and we found ourselves at another club that went on into the early hours of Boxing Day I was left to look back on one strange way to celebrate. As I was handed another sambuca I wondered whether Boxing Day would be anything like how I'd imagined.